Disconnected

Our life, in a pattern of family, career, hobbies, often feels safe and comfortable (although sometimes you can feel like you are on a hamster wheel spinning constantly in the same direction day in and day out). Do you have a title of parent, grandparent, co-worker, significant other, spouse, entrepreneur? Are these titles who you are or who you have become?

If you change even one aspect of your pattern you can feel overwhelmed and anxious. It’s even more difficult if you change your pattern completely. You move, you change jobs, your family life changes and even your hobbies seem interrupted. Now what. Where do you belong? Are you stuck in limbo of what was, what is supposed to be and the reality of what it actually is?

Then BAM a pandemic and whoa baby, now everything has changed. Your life pattern is disrupted. But wait, you hadn’t settled into the previously changed pattern yet, how are you supposed to adjust to this one?

Your original hobbies were interrupted when your pattern changed, and new ones were created. Now those new ones are almost non-existent. Someday they may come back, but in a new “normal”. But when, and how?

Your close circle of family and friends have been socially-distanced. When and if you do see them again, will it be smaller gatherings and more cautious? Do you hug? Do you fist-bump? What the hell do we do now. Where do we go from here.

Stress, fear, change. It’s all difficult to adapt to as it is, however now you find yourself less tolerant of others behaviors. You have more time on your hands therefore you are alone more with your thoughts, and you begin to see what is right in front of you that you hadn’t seen before because life was active and you believed all was right in your pattern. It’s not right anymore. It doesn’t fit. You don’t fit. But did you ever, really? Was it right to begin with, or did you just tolerate it. Was it safe and comfortable?

It’s okay to not know the answers. It’s okay to decide that you are less tolerant of things and people that have become toxic in your pattern. Life challenges us everyday and everyday is a new day to start again. You don’t have to feel guilty for releasing what no longer serves you. You just have to keep moving forward to make you, and your new pattern, better than it was the day before.

Remember, life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Carol

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